The Search

Search and you will find. Ask and you will receive.

I was clearing out my things, reducing the things that defined me. Looking at this laminated compilation of photo prints and snippets of my sketches, I remember how I traipsed through India in search of my ‘teacher’. Yes, that was inevitably my answer when anyone cared to ask me why I had come to India. Oh, I am looking for my ‘teacher’. Who’s your ‘teacher’? No idea but when I find him or her, I will know. So, search I must even though I am told time and again the teacher isn’t out there. Then I come home and while I was living my life and dealing with all its vicissitudes that come with it, then it began to become really clear that hey, there’s my ‘teacher’ right there all along, in me, around me.

search and you will find

And you might also find yourself wanting to climb the metaphorical mountain. In my case, one of the mountains I just had to climb was Mount Rinjani. It’s a very odd thing. It’s like you just have to go. You can’t ignore the call. It’s that strong. And at the end of the search, it would be just like in the song: And you were with me all the while.

Climbing Mt. Rinjani
Crossing this vast grassland to get to the mountain before we could begin to climb it.

What makes it even more amazing is that there is really a ‘you’, a presence that is very much a part of who I am and even though I am not Christian, Buddhist, Muslim or of any particular religion, I can call it no other name but God. So, not only do I come to ‘know’ myself warts and all but I also come to know I am indeed more than my puny self. And then you enter another phase where you continue to drill in and drill out, and you will live your life according to the principle of as within, so without. It’s like you never quite came off the mountain and life isn’t entirely all up to you anymore.

climb mt rinjani

You don’t need much for the journey but these two are pretty essential.

zafu n journal